I learned a very important lesson today. They say you learn something everyday, but most of that shit is pointless. This was very important.
The Book of The Man
Lesson #1: The Art of Advertising
- If advertising for a book store, you can cram as much text as possible into any given space. After all, your customers clearly like to read.
- People like pictures, even small, grainy, black & white photos crammed in amongst your endless text.
- If providing a map, be sure to provide extensive text directions from every conceivable location. Not everyone is as familiar with "road signs" and "pictograms" as your fancy pants marketing staff*.
*"Marketing staff" being anyone on your staff who's heard of Photoshop but isn't The Man.
- Reduce your address and contact information to the smallest distinguishable text size. If someone cares that much, they can Google your damn business.
- The truth is boring; people don't want to be bored.
- When lying (as you should always be doing), it is best to be as hyperbolic and bold-faced as possible. People can't feel like your pulling the wool over their eyes if you make your lie completely obvious.
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